Sry I called you an 8
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
This couple is walking their pig around campus
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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