I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
