i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
