just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
