she peed on how many people?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
