Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
