Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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