I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
no you cant smoke seaweed
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
