i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
