How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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