Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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