Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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