it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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