everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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