i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
