so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
