im six kinds of drunk right now
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
