found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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