By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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