Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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