Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I think I just sharted jello shots
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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