you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
