If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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