I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
