Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
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