Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
