We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
