she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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