I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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