Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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