I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Hippo gnu deer
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
