Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
