Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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