i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
