i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
