You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm like, not good at living.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
