I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
