I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
