She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I need water and some morals
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
