HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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