you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
