Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
