she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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