were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
