what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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