I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
