is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Randomize
