38 yer olds are good kisserssss
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
