my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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