covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
