frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
