Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
